tomb raider: ratchet
by bogon brawler
Summary: ratchet on earth!


**Tomb Raider: Ratchet **

''Ratchet! Can you hear me? Ratchet! It's Sasha! Come in Ratchet!'' crackled Sasha's voice over the ship's intercom. He swerved past a large meteor.

''Yeah, I hear you, Sash. I'm in a bit of a mess at the moment. The ship is a bit damaged. I'm gonna need to stop somewhere before I dock back at the _Phoenix_. Don't get worried, I'll be-Ratchet replied hastily, an explosion cutting off his communications unit.

''RATCHET! NO!'' screamed Sasha down the intercom.

Lara Croft slung herself off a rock. She was thoroughly anticipating Anaya's latest find. A few nights ago she had heard a rumour that a rare Roman artefact had been found in the Himalayas. How it got there, she didn't know, but she was determined to get it before someone beat her to it. Suddenly, a gigantic boom erupted from the other side of the mountains.

_What the hell was that? _She asked herself, changing course to find out what had happened. She clambered across the rocky terrain, and there before her was a small hover ship, which looked severely damaged. Whatever was in there couldn't have survived the collision, yet there seemed to be the sound of movement coming from inside.

''Hello? Can you hear me? Do you know where you are?'' she called in, shuffling through the rubble. She didn't think it was a NASA ship, or one of the Russian rockets she had heard about. A small creature weakly crawled out of the ship. It didn't look human-covered in brown fur; big mouse-like ears-it certainly wasn't from earth.

'' I-I'm Ratchet, but I don't know where I where am. And who are you? You don't look like anyone back in the Bogon galaxy or anyone from the places I went hunting down Nefarious. The person you look most like is Captain Qwark, yet you can't be him in disguise. You're too small to be Qwark,'' stammered Ratchet. A worried look crept across his face. He got up, pulling out his Decimator.

''I can use this, you know. I may look harmless, but if you attack me…you'll be getting a face full of this'' nodding at his gun.'' C'mon Clank. Let's go find some nanotech to heal myself.''

Lara stood amazed. She had just spoken to an alien. She ran after Ratchet.

''Ratchet? There probably isn't any of this nanotech stuff around here. We are in one of the most deserted places on Earth'' Lara said.

''Wait a minute? I'm on _the _planet Earth? I heard so many great things about back on Metropolis, but now I'm here, it seems pretty boring. I suppose if you are from here you can help me get back to my own galaxy.''

''Well, I think I could be you're guide for today. Lady Lara Croft of Abbingdon at your service. I was kind of looking for something, but if you are willing to help, I'll see what I can do'' complied Lara. Ratchet reluctantly agreed and the pair set off.

Lara clambered over the steep rock face, seeing what she was looking for. The roman vase was right in front of them. Suddenly, a small group of men dropped off the mountain, aiming assault rifles at Lara and Ratchet.

''Ratchet, it looks like we have company. Quick, get out that rocket thing again'' she told Ratchet.

''It's called a Decimator. I do have other weapons apart from this. At the last count it was over 30 guns'' was Ratchet's reply. The pair ran forwards. Ratchet whipped out the RY3NO. It was his favourite weapon, costing him 3,000,000 bolts and has 150 rockets in one clip. He started firing away. Across the mountain bodies slumped against boulders from the effects of the RY3NO. Suddenly Ratchet heard a scream. He saw blood pouring out of Lara's right shoulder. Her pistols clattered to the floor and it looked like the gunman was aiming for the head, a devilish grin on his face

Ratchet suddenly felt a bullet slam into his chest. The radio crackled. Luckily, his Aegis V armour had protected him from almost certain death.

''Ratchet, can you hear me? It's Sasha. We've been waiting on the _Phoenix_ for ages. Where are you? Are you sure you're OK? '' he heard Sasha say. '' I can hear you, Sash. I crashed on Earth and started being shot at by a load of madmen. Other than that, I'm fine. You could send a couple of Rangers down for assistance though'' Ratchet replied.

''OK ratchet. I'll get right on it.''

A few days later (it does take a long time to get across two galaxies, after all), the sound of a ranger dropship echoed around the mountains. A whole troop of Galactic Rangers dropped out of the dropship. However, the rangers weren't used to the surroundings on Earth and, as usual, chickened out and ran back into the ship.

''So much for the bravest robot's you've ever seen in your life!'' chortled Lara.

''There not always that bad. They did help me back on Metropolis, Tyhrranosis and Aridia. A lot of help there. There was this one time where I was cornered, with Tyrranoids everywhere, and out came a load of them and saved my skin. I miss Q Force to. There was Helga, Qwark, Skidd, Clank, and Scrunch and… Sasha'' sighed Ratchet. Lara picked up the 3-foot Lombax and started carrying him across the rocks. The vase had been smashed in the gun fight and they didn't want to go pick up the pieces. Lara's earpiece crackled.

''Lara? Did you get the vase?'' came Zip's voice over the radio.

''No, sadly. I did find a small alien though. He says he is a Lombax called Ratchet from the Bogon galaxy. He's just following to find help. I might call Anaya, she is a mechanic after all'' Lara replied. Ratchet's ears pricked up.

''I hear something. Quick, hide behind those rocks and get out your guns. We might need them. Clank, could you go investigate?'' asked Ratchet. Clank ran off in search of the source of the sound.

He quickly sped off in the direction of the noise. He looked through a small nook in the rock. There in front, in a small annihilation-nation style arena lay a small ring in the mountains, with an arena battle going on inside. The gladiator inside couldn't have been anyone worse-Dr Nefarious. Clank ran back to Ratchet.

''Ratchet! Nefarious! In the mountains! Fzzt!'' Clank burbled. Ratchet screamed. He had killed Nefarious two years earlier. The butler, Lawrence, had saved him. Ratchet thought back to the fight against him.

**Two years earlier…**

the defeated Dr Nefarious got back into his ship. "Auto-destruct sequence re-initiated. 60 seconds until  
detonation."

"Oh, the humiliation! Defeated by squishies!" Nefarious cried."Teleport us out of here, Lawrence."

"Would you care to specify a destination?" Lawrence asked.

" Who cares? Just get us out of here!"

****

****

****

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.**The present day…**

The Lombax pulled out his Disc Blade Gun and smashed through the rocks into the arena. By the looks of it, Nefarious was winning the fight and was hammering the others. Ratchet burst in. However, Nefarious already knew the dynamic duo was here, and had other things planned for them. Lawrence sprang out of the shadows, a lancer in his hand._ No you don't, _thought Ratchet swinging his wrench in the direction of the robot butler. The dead robot fell to the ground.

''Ah, Ratchet. We meet again. This time, you will not escape with your life. I will get my comeuppance'' the evil genius cried. Nefarious swung his metal claws at Ratchet. He dodged just in time, the razor sharp talons slicing just over Ratchets head. He fired his Bouncer at the opposing robot. Ratchet let out a ferocious cry as a Decimator shot hit Nefarious right between the eyes, knocking him to the ground. He got out his Quantum Whip, slicing off Nefarious' head.


End file.
